fuck love

a blog on 'life' and other popular four letter words...

Sunday, May 22, 2011

The 'real beauty' in us

Even Cindy Crawford says that she does not wake up looking like Cindy Crawford.

Beauty and looking good are a integral part of our self esteem. We all have the urge to look, smell and sound good, cos it eventually makes us feel good.

And contrary to popular perception and much to the chagrin of my fellow brotherhood, let me reveal that we men have always been using women’s beauty products all along. Since time immemorial. Extensively (Sorry guys J).

Long before there was fairness cream for men, I used to surreptitiously wear women’s fairness cream. And I must say, it actually worked!! It did make me look fairer J. But my glee was short lived when one of my women colleagues recognized the scent of the cream on my face when we stood close to each other in the crowded bus back home and she yelled out to me in front of everyone in the crowded bus if I used women’s fairness cream. My new found fairness accentuated my red blushing face, which went bright red with embarrassment. That was the end of my love story with fairness cream. Till they recently came out with the odorless version (Thank God for R&D!!J).

My tryst with women’s beauty products continued with blackhead removers, moisturizers, sunscreen lotion and facewash. But the industry evolved to bring out products catering to men. I then started to be open about going for manicures, pedicures and massages. I also developed a profound obsession to smelling good and thus started my love affair with perfumes. My current vice is eye glasses and I have about 11 pairs of them, which I color coordinate with my wardrobe’s latest summer collection. J

But growing up, my macho buddies thought I was weird. In the mallu backwaters of God’s own country, where mallu macho was defined with ‘mundu’ and ‘mooch’, I lacked either. Also my cupboard having two shelves of beauty products, didn’t help my gender cause. And it seemed like I knew more about exfoliation than some of the women I dated then J. To the many raised eyebrows, I used to vociferously highlight that only real men use make-up (not that it helped much). Finally, Media came to my rescue again when they branded men who used beauty products as ‘Metrosexy’. They said that being metrosexy is cool and that metrosexy is the new sexy. Almost suddenly, I was ahead of the curve and my guy buddies found it easier to talk to me about beauty products as compared to asking their women friends. Suddenly, I was the new dude in the hostel. And I wore color coordinated glasses to boot. With matching scarfs. And I smelt Hugo Boss. Musk fragranced, that too. J

It’s been a decade since my journey with beauty products and I’ve learnt to respect women and men who wear make up. I like the fact that people take the effort to look, smell and feel good – it just shows that they love and care about themselves and that they are comfortable in their (moisturized)skins. J

But I also started to realize something else….

I now realize that the real beauty in ourselves is not in the way we groom ourselves; its something more profound: The real beauty in ourselves is our own selves only. And our best make-up is something which all of us have in abundance - ourselves.

We are all somebody to somebody else – we are children, parents, siblings, lovers, colleagues, neighbors and friends to other people. And they interact, cherish and value us not because we use the latest accessories or sport the latest trends (which does help, by the way ;)); they interact with us because we are ourselves. And that’s what makes all of us so special and so beautiful to everyone around us. And there is nobody else quite like it. There is a void in the universe that can be filled only by our own unique selves.

Our virtues, our vices, our prejudices, our prides, our loves, our lives, our hearts, our smiles and our selves are the real beauty in all of us. And we are all, soooo... beautiful!!

So here’s a toast to the most beautiful thing about us – our own selves.

To us -the ‘real beauty’ in us!

Cheers and Amen.


And like they say, "May all our happiness be true happiness and all our pain, champagne!!!" J

Dove and Yahoo! salutes the triumphant spirit of the Indian woman with Yahoo! Real Beauty - 'What is 'real beauty' to you?'. Go on, join the conversation....

If you like this post, promote me at ib, like me on facebook, or follow me here. If not, let's go get some beer J.

Most beautiful.

Today is Sapna’s birthday.
She won’t tell her age cos she thinks she’s too old. And Sapna does not have bright blue eyes, or an aquiline nose or a symmetric face.

But she may be the most beautiful person I know.

When she smiles, it’s because she likes to. She’s the one who’d share her last piece of the cake with her children. She’s the one who’d make short snacks for her hubby when he has a long day. She’s the one who’d diligently wakes up at 12 in the night to be the first person to wish her girlfriends a happy birthday.

Every month of March when salary is short, she secretly borrows money to send her retired parents to holiday so that they can celebrate their anniversary. She remains broke for the next few months and we friends willingly oblige her for this noble quirk of hers. This year, her parents said that it was the best anniversary ever and the photos showed them in the happiest of cheer and joy in Malaysia. Sapna is still broke but definitely richer at heart. And she’s been smiling ever since.

She is caring.

Sapna tries to buy more black clothes cos she’s told it helps one look thinner; but she never takes it too seriously and cheerfully ends up buying clothes in her favorite bright colors. She’s not size zero. And nor does she diet anexorically.

Yet she could be the most beautiful person I know.

She helps others because she wants to. She’s the one who bought her younger brother a whole new wardrobe when he got his first job (and he couldn’t afford one then  J ). She the one who helps her cousins with Math tuitions and with exam counseling (the first cousin Nidhi couldn’t have topped Math in school without Sapna’s help J). And Sapna’s the one who looks for excuses and occasions to buy more gifts for her near, dear and loved ones.

When grandpa was ill, she sat by his side with grandma all throughout the three long months. When he left, some say he left behind a content life and that he left happy. Later, Sapna smiled more often cos she knew she was there for him and that he left in peace.

She is compassionate.

Sapna hides her company access card cos she thinks it doesn’t carry her best pic. She doesn’t have Cindy Crawford hair or Angelina’s pout.

And she may be the most beautiful person I know.

She’ll stand for you if she thinks it is right. She’s the one who’d go out of her way to make sure everything is fine with her maid if the latter doesn’t show up for work one day. She’s the one who makes donations at charity houses consistently and discretely. She’s the one who’d volunteer to ‘go green’ and actually mean it.

At work, she was awarded last year for coming up with an initiative for new employees to find their way in the new office and in the new city. Her company said it helped new employees from other states to find their way easier in office and outside. They said it supported, familiarized and helped newcomers to get adjusted to the new life. Today, the HR considers her effort as a landmark achievement as it helped bring attrition down. But Sapna did not do it for the awards – she remembered how hard it was for her when she joined a new company in a new city. She felt she needed to do something for her new colleagues and just wanted to help them out; so she just collated her experiences, exposures, expenses and contacts. She’s just glad that it helped.

She is considerate.

And she is beautiful. She still has the pretty features which her hubby fell for, years before they got married. She does make heads turn, every now and then, when she goes for her shopping sessions. She tries to work out and eat healthy but also treats the family and friends to ice cream every once in a while. In a world obsessed with ‘smaller, thinner and fairer’, she believes and teaches her kids that the real beauty in all of us is ourselves. She believes the best make up is her belief in herself, her family and in God. She doesn’t believe in getting sucked, tucked and plucked and wants to age gracefully with her hubby but nevertheless uses beauty products to help her 'put her best face forward'. She is a doting mother, a darling daughter, a superb sister, a caring wife, a great friend, a trusted colleague and she juggles all these roles in a way only she can.

To the world of her loved ones, she the center of their universe.

For me, Sapna is caring, kind, compassionate and considerate. And she smiles a lot and is all heart. And Sapna is every woman. For me, Sapna is hence beautiful.

Today is Sapna’s birthday. And I woke up at 12 to wish her. I find it very difficult to wake up at midnight and I won’t do that for anyone.

Except Sapna.

Because she is be the most beautiful person I know.


Dove and Yahoo! salutes the triumphant spirit of the Indian woman with Yahoo! Real Beauty- 'What is 'real beauty' to you?'. Go on, join the conversation....
If you like this post, promote me at ib, like me on facebook, or follow me here. If not, let's go get some beer J.

She thinks, he thinks...

She thinks she’s fat.

He loves to hold her tight in the nights.

She thinks she’s got crowfeet near her eyes.

He loves the way her eyes shine when she smiles.

She thinks he looks at other women in front of her cos he’s not comfortable with her.

He looks at other women in front of her cos he’s most comfortable with her and her only, more than even his guy friends.

She wants to come home early to hit the treadmill.

He loves coming home early so that he can be with her.

She thinks she’s getting old and unattractive.

He loves to grow old with her.

She thinks…..

He loves…..

Because she is she.

Do check out my other two posts on real beauty - 'Most Beautiful' and 'Real Beauty in us'. :)

Dove and Yahoo! salutes the triumphant spirit of the Indian woman with Yahoo! Real Beauty - 'What is 'real beauty' to you?'. Go on, join the conversation....

If you like this post, promote me at ib, like me on facebook, or follow me here. If not, let's go get some beer J.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Thor The Movie - Review

Wait till after the movie closing credits finish – that’s the coolest thing about Thor!!!

The biggest thing that everybody misses in Thor is the ending – and by ending, I mean after all the closing credits are rolled out. Remember to stay EVEN after the credits are done. Trust me, that’s what everybody misses!!! And that adds an element of intrigue, “WOW” and a sense of still more to come to the movie.

This is not the first time a Marvel Comics movie had a similarly unexpected ending. I simply loved Iron Man. Tony Stark defied the superhero stereotype by being a womanizing, arrogant and wealthy prick, who lived life king size. And what made the whole movie work is the choice of the charming Robert Downey Jr as Tony Stark. Unlike other superhero movies like Spiderman and Batman where we always used to wait for the scenes where the superhero showed up, in Iron Man, I was just waiting for more scenes with Tony Stark. But one of the coolest Tony Stark scenes is actually not in Iron Man – it’s in the ending of another movie, the Hulk.

Marvel Comics has been shuffling superhero presences across their various offerings. Not many people noticed, but after the closing credits of Iron Man 2, the movie actually ends with a scene where the SHIELD agent, Agent Coulson, calls up his boss and says, “Sir, We found it ” and then the movie ends with an image of Thor’s hammer!!! (sure, go ahead n check it out here J).

The news is that Marvel has one more movie coming out in July this year in Captain America, after which you’ll see all the four, i.e, Iron Man, the Hulk, Thor and Captain America coming together next year in The Avengers. Thor is an extension of Marvel’s strategy to build superhero property out of its comics and monetize them.

Thor is the story of a warrior god, who is arrogant and too ballsy for his own good, who gets tamed to then become the King. Interspersed in this story is a hint of love (with Oscar winner Natalie Portman), sibling rivalry between Thor and his god brother Loki, his rocky relation with his father (Antony Hopkins) and all this with some great special effects.

An interesting thing about Thor is that even the Gods above agree that life on Earth is hell – so the God King, Thor’s father, sends his son god to exile as punishment - to Earth! Thor’s scenes on earth where he interacts with humans do provide some comic moments.

It’s a good movie nevertheless. The way the Heavens have been created with the visuals and costumes is very commendable. The story, even though kinda corny, has been adapted very well to screen. Chris Hemsworth is just right as Thor – the dude has got a body to kill for and in the scene where he tries to lift the hammer from the mud, he looks almost believable as a god. The Oscar winners did a decent job with their parts with Antony Hopkins having more meat to his role. See the ending after credits to know which character really scores.

But at the end of the day, Thor is just too goody goody a movie – it’s just another regular good movie. Even the finale fights were found wanting. Bottom line is: It’s a good movie but it doesn’t have the uber coolness of Iron Man or the depth of The Dark Knight.

But great fare for the summer. So just get the pop corn, colas and sit back to enjoy!!!

And don’t forget to stay after the credits!!


Friday, May 6, 2011

The greatest secret of Human Attraction

Even though Jerry Maguire owns the copyright, I think the most romantic line ever is "You complete me".

A close second are the Bryan Adams lines, which completely blew me off the first time I heard them, "You gotta breathe her, really taste her till you can feel her in your blood....and when u see your unborn children in her eyes, u know u really love a woman"....aaah, quivering in my knees :D

There was a time when Yash Chopra movies were the epitome of romance –the women were always good lukin, they looked great in white saris, they danced well in the rain and luckily for the hero, it always rained. Love was forever, everyone loved only once and whether they loved or they lost, they lived forever ever after in the memory of their beloved.

But today, love stories are fast, frivolous and fluffy. Social changes are best reflected in the movies of the time - in spite of a very conformist ending (to play to the gallery perhaps), ‘Love Aaj Kal’ actually had a point –Aaj ka Love is definitely different from the Love of the Kal. The ‘bridges of Madison County’ have today made way to ‘Friends with Benefits’ with absolutely ‘No Strings Attached’. Also there is a growing genre of movies that attempts to explore new love after an old. A sign of things to come? Most likely maybe… Multiple Dating has taken over the relationship space by storm. The phenomenon called Speed Dating is a phenomenal success - If jilted in love, clink your glass and move on to your next date in 5 minutes. And 5 minutes later, to the next, and so forth….

This post is inspired by friend who just got out of a 9 year relationship – heartbroken she was and I took her to a disc to cheer her up. I knew that she’d take a terribly long time to get over her ex but I was as shocked as she when she found a guy in the disc that night itself (and his pick up line was cornier than my ‘naam tho suna hoga’!). Now, unlike her other close friends, I’ll give you a minute to pass judgments on her character. Now, hold on to those judgments – we’ll be using them later in this post.

The greatest secret of Human Attraction is that nobody is indispensable - everybody is expendable. If you’ve fallen out of love, then you can just board the next bus coming along. Centuries of conditioning have led us to believe that in sickness and in health, in poverty and in wealth, you should live and love only once, forever and for ever. They’ve made us believe in the virtues of monogamy and consider anything otherwise as sacrilegious–social norms tell us that it’s wrong and that it’s a sin. We have all been made to believe in this morality tale – the good will always stay loyal while the bad will stray. But the truth lies elsewhere. Human attraction knows none of these rules and you get naturally attracted to many. Just like we have many a friends, we are actually capable of having many a loves. We are actually capable of loving many. Blasphemy you say? Well, that’s exactly what we’ve been made to believe. If you made judgments about my friend above, then they’re the prejudices that you picked up along the way via years of conditioning, upbringing, social and religious values (and Yash Chopra J). Heer had only one Ranjha, Laila had just one Majnu and Romeo, his one true Juliet. But if you knew Romeo had a simultaneous thing going on with Suzanna, Roxanna, Ponamma and Banupriya too all along, he may not have turned out to be as celebrated as he currently is. History celebrates the monogamists, while the adulterers are just looked down upon.

And if you think about it, you’ll agree that this is based on the concept of individuality – there are 7 billion of us and each of us are different (of course, some literature say that there are 6 other people similar to you on earth. If any of my similar 6 is reading this, then please buy me a drink- if however your finances are also similar to mine, please don’t bother J). We are all special in our own right and different in our own ways. There’s always gonna be something special in your next that can help you overcome what was special in your ex. The key point is that you can move on.

And yes, we ourselves may believe that we cannot love again - we may feel guilty, incapable or devoid of love. And it may hurt like hell - even after Monday and Tuesday, the calendar will read ‘W T F’ (J) but wise men have said that the heart was, after all, made to be broken. And they have also said that the antidote to love is love itself. And that party abhi baaki hai. J

So go get bitten. Again.

Cos you can.